I ♥ NY

After 2 weeks here, I'm starting to understand what Andrew WK was talking about.

A brief rundown of classic moments I've experienced/witnessed so far.

*Note: What you are about to read is completely true, free of embellishment, and a fucking trip...

• A couple frantically having (pantomiming?) dry sex in a Stuy Town park around 10 feet away from where I was sitting. They were both standing, mind you, with the gal bent over doggie-style. Oh, and after they "finished," she walked over to me and asked me for a light.
• "Gay emo thugs" (Lex Diamonds coined this one, props due) boarding a subway train and proceeding to have a dance recital, complete with choreography. Think braids, blowout fros and whatnot, crispy white tees, satin hoop shorts, and hyper-feminine mannerisms to top it off. Anyways, the last thing I saw as the doors closed on them was one of the dudes starting to sit on the other's face.
• My flatmate Joey and I went exploring in the East Village, walking down 1st Ave. About a few blocks in, we're approached by a distraught and lost-looking, young white woman who asks: "Do you guys speak English?" before proceeding to tell us she was trying to find an address. Joey is as white as they come and as for me...shit...I don't have an excuse. I could very well come off as someone who doesn't speak, being asian and all.*
• *Side note: it took this girl in one of my classes 7 tries to figure out what I was. One of 'em was pretty obscure and one I've never gotten before: Laotian.
• More Stuy Town hijinks: on one of the benches that surround the fountain in the middle of the park, a couple engaged in a heavy, HEAVY make out sesh. Dude was fondling his girl's breast like there was no tomorrow. Oh, and this was within plain sight of the say, 20 people seated around them. No shame, no shame...
• An extremely graphic eye-surgery video playing on a huge flat-screen TV at a bar. Oh yeah, it was "free personal pizza with every beer" night so the clientele were in the middle of eating as this transpired.
  
• I was chatting with a coked-out glam girl (dried blood in her right nostril) in full make-up, get-up and whatnot, rocking these kind of boots (sorry, don't know the name of the style) in a coffee grindery (?) on Orchard St. She was unemployed after being fired but was "not worried about it" (her words). So she finishes filling out an app for the coffee place...gets up and immediately loses her balance, half falling over and stumbling across the entire store without regaining her bearings before grasping a counter littered with coffee beans - spraining her right ankle repeatedly in the process. It must have folded over around 5x, no joke.
  

And that's just the beginning.
Going to post some funny pics next. Don't sleep!